People say that when a transgression has been made against them, "You owe me an apology. You owe me an explanation."

To owe anything is to owe a debt.

True forgiveness is the willingness to release what is owed to you.

“And forgive us our DEBTS, as we forgive our DEBTORS.” (Matthew 6:12)

But what's interesting...

When and whatever you're willing to release regarding those DEBTS --- on your behalf, God/Spirit will be faithful to COLLECT it!

Check it...a debt is nothing but a form of energy! That's all! But over time, the energy can be more harmful than the actual transgression itself.

If you overdraw $5.00 from a bank account, the bank will charge a $35.00 overdraft fee, depending on who you’re banking with. Not only do you owe the bank $5.00 for the overdraft, but you're also indebted to them beyond the amount needed to be repaid.

See, the world teaches that we owe more than the transgression is worth. That every transgression is of an extreme sort for disciplinary action and very little grace.

So, first, with forgiveness, it would be wise to release all expectations and/or outcomes – and I mean ALL.  And I know that’s not easy to do. But this is where we begin to practice utilizing our inner compass (a “superpower”) to recognize, in the aftermath of forgiveness, that before giving of our precious, fruitful gifts or efforts, we operate with more mindfulness and caution.

Please read that again…no worries, I’ll copy and paste it for you.

“First, with forgiveness, it would be wise to release all expectations and/or outcomes – and I mean ALL.  And I know that’s not easy to do. But this is where we begin to practice utilizing our inner compass (a “superpower”) to recognize, in the aftermath of forgiveness, that before giving of our precious, fruitful gifts or efforts, we operate with more mindfulness and caution.”

I believe that we should all respect every individual and the entirety of creation (life).  However, I’m also a believer that a person should be cautious and protective of what they deem sacred (i.e., heart space energy, time spent on efforts/action, monetary giving, etc.) before sharing it haphazardly.

It doesn't mean that people aren’t worthy – for they most certainly are.  However, they may not be deserving of what you have to offer until they can prove themselves capable of handling your sacredness with care and can be trusted with the most precious & vulnerable parts of yourself.

Not everyone should have access to that from the beginning, because that takes time.

That part is earned, not respect.

It doesn’t mean you can’t love someone; it just means you love yourself also.  

Now, moving forward with forgiveness, it would behoove us to strike an aligned balance between our discernment (mind/thought) and our intuition (heart/feeling) in our relationships and when navigating life.

This is why it says, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)

Okay, granted, the Master Teacher/Rabbi was speaking to messengers (apostles) to travel and verbally deliver a message of love and what is known as the “gospel” to many throughout all ancient Judea and its bordering regions, and to be mindful in doing so. However, I believe it also applies to when we share our most valued possessions (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and even financially) – being mindful of what, how, and how much to give in a particular situation. In other words, how you present yourself, or rather, how you "show up" and what you have to contribute.

“So, I shouldn’t give from a place of love?!”

We should! Just don’t forget to love yourself in the process.

For example, before giving a person a ride to the grocery store, if there’s a possibility they will fail to provide you with gas money again, will you be upset? Or can you do it without the expected outcome and still be okay? Especially, after you have just forgiven them for it last week, and they know how that makes you feel, and they may do it again anyway!

Would you take them to the store anyway, knowing the possible outcomes?

If not, then don’t do it. This shows self-love and a desire to protect the relationship, as you’re not willing to put yourself in a position of emotional upheaval again for your sake and theirs. 

This is about integrating the lesson.

If someone’s patterns never change, we must reconsider our patterns moving forward, or we’re bound to repeat cycles while also writing more proverbial “IOU Slips.” 

This calls for healthy boundaries where we use our common sense.

It’s imperative that we learn this; otherwise, we continue to be taken advantage of. The perpetrator will continue to accrue more debt that needs to be paid.

Boundaries are important. 

Should you be mad at a bird for being a bird, or be angry at a dog for being a dog, or any creature for being themselves? 

Now, let’s say a person is indebted to you, either emotionally for repeatedly breaking your trust…

What does the payment look like? What's enough to pay off the debt?

Honestly, I think it would be highly challenging to forgive any situation like that.  Let’s be real, those experiences are forever ingrained in your memory bank, which could have caused pain, trauma, sleepless nights, fears, sorrow, confusion, insecurities, etc.

Let’s talk about it – in truth, you want them to walk the plank, dropping into a pool of blood-thirsty sharks below the blarmy deep, or eat crow for life.

But be honest! A bit of a morbid sight. Right? 

So, what’s enough?

How much of an apology or demonstration of repentance is enough to forgive someone?

How do you calculate it?

Do you know the formula?

In short, if you’re truly honest with yourself, I bet there isn’t an amount that’s dubbed quite enough, is there?

Even if it was just one transgression.

Because it will always be in the back of your mind, as I mentioned earlier, it's energy and it’s forever stored in your memory bank! So, earnestly, there's no tangible amount of ANYTHING that someone can do or say to be warranted enough to forgive them.

But there is a choice…your choice.

We have the power of "choice" to willingly see the situation from a higher perspective than just our own humanized, emotional understanding — the willingness to exercise empathy from a place of love, and then to be strong and courageous enough to let it go, even if you know that you’d never get the apology that you deserve.

Closure without closure…

Try that one on! 

This is why strength and courage are paramount, especially in situations that have no closure.

Because in theory, especially in extreme circumstances, we want them to reap their “just desserts,” because we’ve been wrongly slighted in great magnitude, and we know we’re owed justice for the wrongs that have been done to us.

Right?

But Spirit knows this already!

This is why it's said to "Let go, and let God..."

“Let God do what?!”

Handle it! Let God handle it!

I say again, this is all energy!

Our emotions are an energy. That means those proverbial debts are emotional and energetic forms that are being held within your SOUL, which is housed in your physical body, mind, and heart. And if the soul does not release unforgiveness, or rather, the IOU slips, it will affect you physically.

We are all aware of this – science has proven that stress can have a significant impact on the physical body.

Duh?!

And not in a good way!

This is why it's detrimental to forgive.

Let me put it to you like this...

Your soul is an energetic spiritual being WITHIN your physical body; it’s what makes “you” you. It’s the essence of who you are…not what you look like in the physical form. Now, the emotions that you carry are ALSO an energy that is WITHIN your soul.  And your physical body houses ALL of this.

However, your physical body is limited and finite.

It can only handle so much because it’s a “physical” manifestation of your soul in this material realm (earth/world).

Meaning, if you try to fill a bag full of rice beyond its limited capacity and attempt to seal it, it’ll cause stress on the bag, and it’ll rip at the seams.  Then you’re faced with a huge mess to clean.

Ever hear of a river that wants to move downstream, but a dam was built by a beaver that stops the flow? The water builds up, pressure rises, and eventually it spills over or finds another path, and often with destructive consequences.

The point is… all energy must flow.  Holding onto unforgiveness is akin to holding onto stagnant energy, which disrupts the life force (the soul) within the physical body.

So, whatever emotions you're carrying, good or bad, will affect your body – your house, your temple.

You are a LITTLE spirit living in a physical body -- RELEASE the debts to the GREAT BIG SPIRIT (God/Creator) that has a much BIGGER space to handle it and to micromanage it better than any of us ever could -- and is also fully capable of doing it from a place of unconditional love for everyone involved.

So, who do you think would be better to handle it?

You? Or the Creator?

Otherwise, you'll always be holding a dust-collecting, coffee-stained IOU slip that’s been lying around on a desk in the back of your mind, waiting for it to be paid in full. And while holding onto that slip, as time passes, you'll become increasingly annoyed each day until it's fully paid.

Now, what sense does that make?

It’s pointless.

You’re hurting yourself!

Bro, Sis, throw it in the trash…

Better in a landfill than in your personal space as a constant reminder.

The Lord rids us of our sins...our transgressions, by throwing them into the sea of forgetfulness, so that we're not hindered from having a relationship with Spirit.

That’s the demonstration of love and forgiveness.

So, why not model after that ideal?

Now, you may not want to continue a relationship with someone if it’s deemed to be a healthier choice in the end, but you can still release and forgive the debt.

Sounds like a wise decision. It sure brings a lot more peace doing things that way. Right?

What do you think?

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